Why do people forget that our ‘audience’ (in it’s loosest definition) surrounds us all the time? I know people that are considered accomplished public speakers in all ‘presentation’ contexts—in other words, when they have the ‘floor’. However, when it comes to one-on-one (or, even one-on-many, like a meeting), their communication skills wane.
Perhaps you know this guy: Mr. FAIA. He’s the one that clients and prospects find so yummy that they eat up his every word. Or this woman: Ms. ACEC. She’s the one that is charming and unique in presentation scenarios, but a bear to deal with in the work environment.
Sure, Mr. FAIA and Ms. ACEC are fantastic keynotes at industry conferences. They clinch the deal during the formal project pitches for new business. They charm; they wow; they seem very much in tune with their audiences.
But Mr. FAIA and Ms. ACEC become {borderline} intolerable during more intimate forms of communication such as meetings. Why is that? Presentations are not so different from meetings. After all, they both have:
- >Living breathing people who seek connection.
- >Audiences. (We are one another’s co-audiences, are we not?)
- >Mutually expected outcomes.
So how can someone be such a dynamic speaker, appearing to really know and respond (on the spot) to their audience, and then be so one-sided, inconsiderate, unaware ….need I go on?….in a meeting?
This came to my attention last week when I attended a meeting with someone whom is acknowledged by many as a good public speaker. He’s a delightful man; it’s not that I do not enjoy him as a person. And it’s not that I didn’t learn from him. It’s just that I had things to say. And I was getting impatient by some digressions in the ‘conversation’. In other words, he was not aware of my twitch factor and body language. He was not checking in to make sure that I was following his content. He was not doing everything—actually anything—that I would expect from an accomplished public speaker.
Because this man truly is nice and decent, my post-reflection on the experience makes me want to have the guts to give him some feedback. To let him know that he should consider applying his fantastic presentation abilities to the contexts of more intimate communication settings, such as business meetings.
In this case, this is not about the hairdresser having split ends, or the car repairman driving a beater, or the psychologist checking in and out of an insane asylum. Noooo. Because in those cases, the individual’s expertise is simply lost on themselves. Rather, this is about the chef who produces delectable dishes in a top-of-the-line kitchen, but can’t seem to prepare a decent meal when he’s cooking over a campfire. Come on. Don’t we expect that when we are professionals, we should be able to transfer our skills from context to context within reason?
If you know someone who has amazing skill sets in one context, and should be able to reasonably transfer those exact same skills to another context, then why not (gently, and with kind consideration) give them some feedback to consider? Maybe you start with the people mentioned in this post—Mr. FAIA and Ms. ACEC. Those people in your firm that, for all practical purposes, shine when on ‘stage’ but yet can’t seem to connect with (or at least respect) their ‘audience’ in intimate contexts. I know they are out there, lurking amongst us in the design and construction industry.